


The Revengers: Ragnarok 'n' Roll

by foolishthunder



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Revengers - Fandom, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Gen, M/M, Marvel Universe, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sakaar (Marvel), The Avengers - Freeform, The Revengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-06-10 23:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15302088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolishthunder/pseuds/foolishthunder
Summary: Thor decides that Sakaar is the best place for his people to stay until they figure out a plan for a new Asgard. During their stay, the all-new song contest, "The Sound of Sakaar" is to take place instead of the Contest of Champions. So Thor, Loki, Valkyrie and a reluctant Bruce form a rock band to try and win the cash prize.





	1. The Sound of Sakaar

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So basically this is my first fanfiction on here and I wanted to actually try and write something good for once. I got the idea from a twitter post about a Revengers 70s rock band AU and I thought it would be fun to write about so here I am. I'm gonna try to be relatively frequent with uploading new chapters and I'm also gonna try and actually finish this one for once. Comments are very much appreciated and I'll probably read/respond to all of them. Enjoy! (Also if I make any grammatical errors feel free to correct me).

It had been six weeks since Thor had brought his people to Sakaar. It wasn’t the original plan, but bringing a few thousand Asgardians to Earth was deemed a bad idea. It would draw way too much government attention, and NASA would most likely follow them round like paparazzi. Plus, they would need to learn all of those confusing Midgardian concepts like taxes, insurance and mortgage. No, they needed somewhere less complicated, a place that would be unfazed by the presence of a whole new alien race, and Sakaar fit the bill. Travelling there took a good few months; there was no way they would risk going back through the “Devil’s Anus” with so many people on board.

During that time, the Sakaarian revolution had taken place. Society had improved massively - there was no longer a huge divide between the rich and poor, and though some people had chosen to remain scrappers, the rate of cannibalism had decreased significantly. However, one thing that didn’t change was the ruler - The Grand Master. In a last-ditch attempt to cling to his position, he offered to replace the violent Contest of Champions with a song contest called, “The Sound of Sakaar.” Surprisingly, the Sakaarians took to this idea and allowed him to remain in power. But citizens had proved to the Grand Master that they were the ones in control, not him, and now he was more of a celebrity figure rather than a dictator.

 

To Thor’s relief, the Asgardians were welcomed by the Sakaarians and quickly felt comfortable on this new planet. The place was full of abandoned houses as people were always finding better materials to build new ones, so these would do as a temporary homes. Sakaar was no Asgard, no spectacular rainbow bridge, no beautiful, grand structures and golden sculptures, but it was bursting with vibrant colours. And there was one sculpture: the Hulk’s snarling face embossed onto the wall of his old house from when he had been the Champion.

 Thor wandered down the deserted streets that were were usually packed full of civilians; buskers, dancers, playing children, markets and stalls set up in the most inconvenient places. But today, there was no one to be seen, as everyone had flocked to the town square where an announcement was to be made. He drew closer to the dull murmur of the crowd, but was suddenly almost knocked off his feet by a deafening voice.

 “Good news, Sakaarians!” Boomed the voice. Looking up, Thor saw a giant hologram of the Grand Master in his usual gold, sequin-plastered gown and his signature blue makeup, flashing a charming smile down at his people. “Our all-new song contest, The Sound of Sakaar, is about to begin, and everyone’s invited! Auditions will take place in three weeks from today and I’ll be on the judging panel, of course. So go, put together a band or even an orchestra, or go solo if you want. And if you can’t sing or play an instrument, make sure you get tickets cuz you won’t wanna miss this. But what is the prize, you ask? Well, apart from fame and glory and whatnot, the winner will receive not a million, not a billion, but one trillion units! Good luck, everyone.”

 As soon as the hologram disappeared, the crowd began chattering eagerly to one another. _One trillion units? He must be insane. Do you think it’ll be rigged? Maybe we should try out!_

 The thought of winning one trillion units danced around in Thor’s mind. He recalled back to when he was sold to the Grand Master for 10 million units, which must’ve been a fairly high price. God knows what she did with the money - probably spent it all on booze. But with a trillion, maybe he could buy enough resources for an entirely new planet, and begin rebuilding Asgard. A wave of optimism had rolled over him, and he practically skipped back to Valkyrie’s apartment to tell his friends about this exciting prospect. He had barely acknowledged the fact that he didn’t actually know how to play any instruments.

* 

“Hey guys! Did you hear the news?” said Thor, bounding through the door. Bruce and Valkyrie were sitting side by side on her sofa while Loki sat reading in a moth-eaten arm chair at the other side of the room.

 “Nope, I shut the windows as soon as I saw that stupid shiny idiot appear in the sky,” she replied, taking a swig of whatever alcoholic drink she had chosen today.

 “Well this might actually interest you,” said Thor, “The song contest is going to start in three weeks, anyone can compete, and theres a grand prize of one trillion units.”

 Valkyrie almost spat our her drink in shock. “A trillion? You’ve got to be joking.”

 “How much is a trillion actually worth?” Asked Bruce.

 “It would make you the second richest person on Sakaar, almost as rich as the Grand Master himself. So, a lot basically.” She said.

 "Enough to build a new Asgard?” said Thor, his eyes glinting.

 Loki put down his book to speak. “You’re not thinking of entering, are you?”

 “Not alone.” Thor gave an encouraging look to the other three. Loki scoffed and Bruce shook his head, but Valkyrie was all for it.

 “C’mon guys,” she said enthusiastically, “One trillion units! With that, we could probably transform a small planet into a permanent place for the Asgardians to live, and maybe even have some left over.”

 “There’s nothing you’d rather spend a trillion on?” Loki asked Thor.

 “Of course not,” he replied, “They can’t stay here forever, and I’m their King now - I want to do what’s best for them.”

 Loki rolled his eyes. Typical Thor, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his people. Though Loki did want to help create a new Asgard, the thought of them winning this song contest was laughable. “You haven’t touched a musical instrument in your life - we’d never win,” Loki stated.

 “I hate to say it but he’s right,” Bruce added, “I don’t play anything either, the odds of us winning are basically zero.”

 Valkyrie got up and beckoned them all to follow. “I’ve got loads of instruments lying around,” she said, ignoring their protests. “They’re always getting thrown away and ending up on Sakaar. I reckon you could learn one of these pretty quickly if you really tried.”

 “Look I’m not going to participate in a silly-“ Loki began, but stopped as soon as his eyes met Valkyrie’s deathly glare.

 “Oh give it a try, brother,” said Thor, heartily, “Maybe you’ll end up enjoying it, you never know.” 

*

Valkyrie led them to what seemed like an old cupboard, but when she forced open the stiff steel door, they were met with a huge room stuffed to the ceiling with junk. They stepped inside and picked their way through the mess, careful not to tread on anything. The contents of the room ranged from old sofas and scraps of metal to quite expensive looking chandeliers and other ornaments. Scattered throughout the room, were a variety of musical instruments - some of them Thor and Loki recognised as Asgardian. A viola caught Bruce’s eye and he went over to inspect it.

 “This is a real Stradivarius!” He gasped, “How did you even get this?”

Valkyrie shrugged, “Junk pile.” Bruce was shocked and looked almost hurt that an item this valuable was treated with such carelessness and had ended up in a dump.

 “I used to play the viola when I was a kid,” he said, placing it back down with care.

 “Well it won’t do much good in a rock band,” said Valkyrie.

 “Who said it had to be a rock band?” Loki asked, a little miffed.

 “Me,” Valkyrie replied shortly. Loki had heard one rock song in his life - Shoot To Thrill by ACDC, and of course that brought back bad memories of Tony Stark blasting him off his feet with the iron man suit. So, needless to say, he was not happy about the idea of being in a rock band. He sulked while searching for a suitable instrument, but unfortunately he knew nothing about Midgardian rock so it was quite a difficult task.

“What about this?” Loki asked, holding up a flute. “I used to play something similar to this on Asgard.”

 Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. “That’s the gayest thing you could’ve picked.”

 Loki scowled and put it down, longing to retaliate but knew that it wasn’t worth fighting with her again - she would probably win anyway.

 “Try this instead.” Valkyrie tossed Loki a sleek black electric guitar with green flames.

 “Don’t you think its a bit tacky?” He said, eyeing the flames sceptically.

 “Yeah, it suits you,” she teased. Loki turned sharply and opened his mouth, about to say something spiteful but Thor hastily stopped him.

 “I think she just means that your signature colour scheme is black and green.”

 “I didn’t mean that at all-“

 “So, Val! Will you be our lead singer?” Thor cut across her, keen to avoid an argument between the two.

 “God no. I’m gonna be the bassist.”

 Thor was surprised by this. “But I’ve heard the Valkyries sing and they had such beautiful voices.”

 For a moment Valkyrie looked pained by his use of past tense, but shook it off. “I just prefer playing the bass is all.”

 

Thor and Bruce had still not found anything. All of the Asgardian instruments were intended for angelic hymns or songs sang before battle, and the ones from other planets looked too complicated. Thor needed something simple, something he could learn in three weeks - if that was even possible.

 “Hey Thor, fancy playing the drums?” Valkyrie called from across the room. He looked over to see her hauling a drum kit out from amongst the clutter. Apart from the dust, they looked quite new and were painted a deep, sparkling purple. Thor walked up to them curiously and Valkyrie handed him a pair of drumsticks.

 “I’ve never seen a set of drums before, I didn’t expect so many different parts. You think I can learn this in three weeks?” Thor asked, sounding unsure.

 “If you dedicate all your time to practising, and I mean all of it, you should be able to play a simple backbeat,” said Valkyrie, “I’ll clear some space so we can practise in here.”

Thor began helping her shove some of the clutter to the walls, giving them an area to set up the drum kit and three amps, one for the bass, one for the lead guitar, and one for the microphone. They also pulled two sofas into the middle of the room so they could be able to have breaks while practising. The warm glow of the single lightbulb made the atmosphere cosy and relaxed, and it reminded Bruce of those bands that kids in high school would set up in their garage - which he had secretly always wanted to be a part of.

 “So I guess this leaves Banner as the lead singer,” said Valkyrie, fiddling with the mic stand.

 “What- No!” Bruce exclaimed, startled. “I don’t sing.”

 “Come on, don’t be shy.” Valkyrie adjusted the height of the stand so that the microphone was level with her knees. “Look, I even made it your size.”

 “Very funny,” Bruce muttered as the two brothers chucked. “But seriously, I don’t sing. You’re gonna have to find someone else.”

 “Whatever you say.” Valkyrie seemed unfazed, as if she didn’t believe him. “Well, you can help The Twink tune his guitar or something.”

 “I asked you to stop calling me that,” said Loki through gritted teeth. Bruce cringed inwardly at the tension between them. It seemed that Valkyrie could hold a grudge for aeons, and wasn’t prepared to forgive Loki for trespassing on her most painful memory any time soon. And though Loki appeared to have changed for the better, Bruce remembered the events of the Battle of New York all too vividly, and knew what he was capable of. Bruce couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy whenever Valkyrie would taunt him, scared that the next insult would push Loki over the edge, turning him back into the murderous psychopath he once was. But he was tolerating it well enough, and nothing ever got violent between him and Valkyrie - thank God.

 “We’re gonna need to find a lead singer fast if we want that prize,” said Thor. “Banner are you sure you can’t sing?”

 “I’m sure. Also, doesn’t it seem a bit too crazy that the prize would make you the second richest person on Sakaar?” Bruce speculated. “It could be a scam.”

 “I doubt it. He probably has money to throw away, and a trillion units is nothing to him,” replied Valkyrie.

 “But what if someone with bad intentions gets their hands on it?”

 “Then that’s all the more reason why we must win,” Thor chipped in. The optimism he felt when he first heard about the contest had simmered down, and was replaced with a more serious sense of determination. There would be hundreds of others competing for that gargantuan prize, and it was up to him and his brother to learn their new instruments to a good enough standard to beat them in the audition. He needn’t worry for Loki - he managed to quickly pick up the skill for nearly any instrument he chose to learn on Asgard. But Thor, being a total beginner to music, couldn’t help but doubt himself a little. However, he knew he had to try, and he was adamant on giving it his best shot.


	2. Revengers, Assemble!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I decided to merge the previous chapter 2 into chapter 1 because I like the lengths to be consistent and they were pretty short on their own in comparison to this one. Sorry this took so long!

Thor couldn’t get enough of the drums. Over the past week, he had really taken to them and practised whenever he could, learning from a book called “Drums for Dummies.” He had almost mastered the basics by now, and discovered he had surprisingly good hand-eye coordination. However he often got a little carried away and hit harder than necessary. On most days he would lose track of time and practise way into the night, trying his best to stay somewhat quiet. But tonight he was having a particularly good run, and gradually became louder and louder with excitement as he finally got the hang of the rhythm he was playing. Suddenly, the door was flung open, causing him to drop his drumsticks in surprise.

“Thor, for God’s sake, it’s three a.m,” Valkyrie grumbled.

“Sorry, sorry, I forgot. But did you hear that? I didn’t make any mistakes!” Thor whispered enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I heard, but just go to bed please, I want to sleep in peace.”

Thor got up from his stool and left the room with Valkyrie, passing Bruce who was still fast asleep on the sofa in the living room. They reached the spare bedroom which Thor was sharing with Loki, and Valkyrie stopped too.

“By the way, that was sounding really good,” she said, giving Thor a small smile despite her annoyance at being woken up. A delighted grin stretched across Thor’s face upon hearing her praise.

“But no more practising past midnight. I’ve suffered enough.”

“Alright, I promise,” said Thor, “And thank you, Val.”

*

The next morning Valkyrie woke up early, which was unusual for her, and was over by the kitchen counter eating a slice of toast. It wasn’t long before Loki traipsed sluggishly into the the room, his hair a mess and bearing prominent bags under his eyes.

“Sleep well, princess?”

“I barely got any,” he said, groggily. “Thor kept hitting the wall with his hands like he was playing the drums in his sleep and it kept me up for hours.”

Valkyrie allowed herself a smirk before continuing, “Go and wake him up, we’re going to meet with Heimdall and tell him our plan.”

“You’re telling him already?” He said, incredulously, “We haven’t even auditioned yet, what if we don’t get through?”

“We will,” Valkyrie seemed very sure of herself, “The Grand Master loves Midgardian music, especially stuff from the 70’s and 80’s. He likes the techno stuff a little more but I bet everyone will play in that style, so we’ll stand out by doing rock. In the following rounds, the public votes for their favourite act, so we’ll be in with a chance of winning.”

Loki still wasn’t convinced, “The Grandmaster most likely hates us. We were basically what led to the revolution, which I’m sure he’s not happy about.”

“I know it’s not ideal, getting past the auditions will be the hardest part. But after that it’ll be a piece of cake, assuming the audience like us - which they probably will considering we have the Hulk and the ‘Lord of Thunder,’ both fan favourites in the Contest of Champions.”

Despite Valkyries confidence, Loki doubted that the Grand Master had forgiven them for causing havoc in Sakaar all those months ago. He didn’t have much power anymore - otherwise they would’ve all been melted by now, but it looked like he was in charge of the song contest. Therefore it would be impossible to get through the auditions if he was still as petty as Loki remembered. Nevertheless, it looked like Valkyrie would not be swayed from trying, so he left the room to wake up his brother.

Although Thor had been up late last night practising, he looked as sprightly and keen as ever. “Morning, Val!” He greeted her cheerfully, “So what’s this about Heimdall?”

“We’re gonna tell him that we’re gonna enter the contest and try and win us money for a new Asgard,” she said.

“Great!” said Thor, energetically, “Well I’m ready to go. Should we wake up Banner?”

The three of them looked over to the sofa where Bruce was still snoring softly, his arm dangling over the edge and his blanket tangled around his legs.

“Nah,” Valkyrie answered after a moment, “He looks so peaceful.”

“He looks a bit angry when he sleeps, doesn’t he?” Thor added, “Like a little angry baby.”

He glanced at the other two for validation but just received weird looks from both of them.

“Nevermind. Let’s just go.”

*

Bruce woke up about an hour after the others had left. One of them, probably Valkyrie, had stuck a post-it note to his forehead, explaining where they were. He often had the apartment to himself as he still disliked being out in the streets of Sakaar - too many freaky aliens. It was always nice being left alone for a bit. One reason why he enjoyed it so much was that he didn’t have to hear Thor and Loki argue over the true purpose of a spatula, and the other reason was that he could sing to himself. No one would’ve guessed it, but he loved to sing - hated performing, but loved singing. Valkyrie had loads of Midgardian rock records from bands like Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones, and also had a record player. So whenever the others went out without him, he would play the music loud and jam to his heart’s content. And right now, he was so immersed in a Ramones song that he didn’t hear Thor’s heavy footsteps coming down the hall.

Thor stopped outside the door to the living room and pressed his ear against it. The beat pulsed through the walls and floor, and two voices sang the melody. At first he thought it was a duet, but as he listened closer he realised that it was Bruce singing along. Curious, Thor gently pushed the door open a fraction and poked his head in.

Bruce was in his element. Dancing in front of the big window in the centre of the room, he belted out the lyrics with his head swaying from side to side, blissfully unaware of anything but the music. The sunlight sparkled on his gunmetal-grey hair, which bounced around with him and flopped over his eyes. It was as if he wasn’t the anxious and awkward Bruce Banner anymore, like he’d been taken over by a stage persona. He was confident, and surprisingly loud for such a small man, but stayed in tune. Thor wanted to watch this spectacle forever - he couldn’t believe it. But Loki and Valkyrie would be back from the market soon, and he was sure Bruce would rather it was just Thor who caught him like this.

“Thought you didn’t sing?”

Bruce shrieked and spun round. “God, don’t scare me like that! How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to know you’d make a great singer for our band,” said Thor warmly, walking up to him.

Bruce shifted his weight uncomfortably from side to side. “I can’t sing in front of people, it stresses me out.”

“Look,” Thor leaned forward and gently placed a hand on Bruce’s shoulder, “we really need a singer and we’re running out of time to find one. And, you have an amazing voice.” Bruce’s cheeks turned pink and he looked down at his feet. Thor awkwardly cleared his throat and finished, “So… please?”

Bruce considered it for a moment. He recalled back to when he was in middle school, and had to perform his viola in front of everyone. It was so nerve wracking that his whole body shook, and his when he thought about how silly he looked, it made him shake even more. And this time, if his heart rate increased as much as it did back then, there was no doubt that he would turn back into the Hulk. But his friends needed him, and Thor’s face looked so beseeching; he was doing those damned puppy dog eyes that Bruce couldn’t say no to.

“Fine,” he mumbled.

Thor gave a triumphant shout, “Yes! Thank you, Banner, you’ve really helped us out here.”

“What’s going on?” Called Valkyrie’s voice from down the hall. She soon appeared with Loki in the doorway, both of them holding bags of groceries. Val noticed Thor’s hand still on Bruce’s shoulder and raised her eyebrows. “Are we interrupting something?”

“Er, nope, no,” Thor hastily removed his hand, “Banner was just saying that he would join the band as our singer.”

“Great! I knew you’d come round,” she said, “I don’t think you knew, but there were a couple times where I came home early and you were still singing, so I just chilled in the kitchen while you rocked out.”

“And you just...never said anything?” Said Bruce awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Nah,” she replied. “Anyway, now that we’ve got a full band, what’s our name gonna be?”

“The Revengers, obviously!” Thor exclaimed brightly. “Wait, can we practise now? There’s something I’ve always wanted to do.” Before waiting for a reply, he pushed past Val and Loki and dashed off to the practise room. They all waited, confused, before they were met with his booming shout:

“Revengers, Assemble!”

Bruce groaned at the painful reference, but Loki and Val were left even more confused. Thor would have to explain the joke to them later.

“Looks like we’re finally practising together,” said Valkyrie, leading them out of the living room.

“The Revengers should have stayed disbanded,” Loki grumbled under his voice.

 

When they got to the practise room, Thor was laying out the sheet music for the song Bruce was just singing. For almost every song on the records Valkyrie owned, she had written out the notes or tabs for her instruments. Suppose she had a lot of free time, stuck on this planet for over a thousand years. Loki and Valkyrie retrieved their guitars from opposite corners of the room and brought them to the centre where the amps and music stands were set up alongside the drum kit.

“Are we really doing this now?” Asked Bruce a little tensely - he still wasn’t entirely comfortable with singing in front of the others.

“Yeah, why not,” said Thor eagerly, “It’ll be our first time practising as a group, so don’t worry too much about messing up.” He waited for Val and Loki to finish fiddling with their guitars and give him an affirmative nod. Lifting his drum sticks into the air, he hit them together four times to count them in, then brought them crashing down to start the song.

Overall, it went better than they expected. Valkyrie made no mistakes of course, it wasn’t a difficult song and she was practically a bass virtuoso anyway. Loki had practiced a lot, but never with the amp, so no one had heard him yet. Just as Thor predicted, he had picked up the basics exceedingly fast, and could play a wide variety of chords. Bruce began very quietly, but grew louder and more confident as the song progressed. There was a point somewhere in the middle where you could tell he had become completely lost in the music, and stopped caring about anything else. Thor had made sure to play a bit softer than he usually would so he could still hear Bruce’s voice.

“That actually wasn’t terrible,” said Val once they had finished, sounding surprised, “Far from it, to be honest. Bruce, that was angelic - keep it up.” He gave an abashed smile and thanked her. “Now, who wants a celebratory drink to mark the first Revengers rehearsal?” 


	3. The Audition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry this took so long, I've been kind of busy with school starting again ugh. But thank you so much for all the nice comments??? Like whoa I didn't expect this at all. Anyway, I'll try to update once every 2 weeks from now on if I can, but no promises lmao. And as always, feel free to point out any grammatical mistakes as I wrote most of this at like 1am.

By noon on the day of the auditions, they were almost ready to go. Valkyrie’s ship had been loaded with their instruments and equipment, and they were just finishing their lunch before setting off. Bruce, however, hadn’t touched his sandwich, despite Thor nagging him about needing to eat. There was no backing out now, though he desperately wanted to. At least for now they would only be performing in front of a few people, but if they passed this round, he knew that their audience would grow bigger and bigger. For a brief moment, he considered singing terribly on purpose so that they would not advance to the next round, but the idea dissipated when he remembered how much this meant to Thor. They were only doing this for him and his people, after all.

“Shall we get going then?” Said Thor, giving up on trying to get Bruce to eat.

“Hold on, I’ve got something for Bruce,” said Valkyrie, taking one of the older looking bottles down from her drinks shelf.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Thor intervened, “That’s Asgardian mead, he can’t have that, he’ll be plastered!”

“Calm down I’m just giving him a sip,” she reassured him, handing Bruce the bottle. He studied it for a moment, looking apprehensive.

“I don’t know, guys, I have a low tolerance as it is.”

“If you get too stressed, which I know you will, it’ll be the other guy performing, not you,” Loki advised him, “So unless the Hulk can sing, you should really have a drink.”

Bruce caved in. “This is peer pressure,” he muttered before taking the tiniest sip possible. Instantly his face screwed up at the taste and he made a noise of disgust. “Jesus, that’s strong!”

The Asgardians watched his reaction with amusement before they cleared the table and set off for the auditions.

*

They parked the ship in the designated waiting area just outside the arena. When they stepped out, they were met with the sight of all the other contestants, either unloading their ships or having a last minute practise. Some were small groups, just like the Revengers, but the different acts ranged from solo singers to full orchestras and choirs. There were all kinds of alien instruments, most of which were variations of keyboards or synthesisers that produced all kinds of strange sounds. Amongst the clammer, they heard a familiar voice calling out to them.

“Hey, guys! Over here.” They turned around to see Korg ambling over with Miek scuttling along by his side.

“Korg, Miek!” Thor greeted them jovially, “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Oh we just thought that since the revolution was a success, we can finally follow our passion for music - or in our case, rapping and beatboxing!”

“Beatboxing?” Said Thor, taken aback, “Miek can beatbox?”

“Yeah man, ‘cuz he can make those clicky sounds with his mouth, so I thought maybe he could beatbox too? And it turns out, he can!” Korg replied, grinning excitedly.

“Does your band have a name?” Asked Valkyrie.

“Yeah, we are Revolution 2.0! Miek came up with the name. But don’t worry, there isn’t really gonna be another revolution, we just thought the name was cool.”

Thor chuckled, “Hopefully there aren’t any misconceptions then.”

“Good luck winning over the Grandmaster with that name,” said Loki.

“Ah, I’m not too worried, he never took me seriously anyway,” said Korg, impassively watching a few rocks crumble and fall from his shoulder, “But you guys might be a bit in trouble with him still. ‘Cuz you four technically kickstarted the rebellion and stole his ships. I really hope he isn’t too mean to you.”

“Yeah, I hope so too,” said Thor, a bit of worry starting to settle in. Then, an official looking woman tapped Korg on the shoulder and told him it was time for their audition. The Revengers wished him and Miek good luck before they departed, following her to the arena.

 

“So, how is everyone feeling?” Thor asked, mainly to distract himself from his own anxiousness. “Bruce?”

Bruce felt a lot more relaxed now, thanks to the mead. “I’m fine actually, what about you guys?”

Valkyrie looked calm enough. She had stayed almost completely away from alcohol for the whole day, and was cracking on with sorting out the equipment. It was true, what Loki said, about it being difficult to pass the audition, but she couldn’t help feeling optimistic. She and the Grand Master had quite a close relationship for a very long time, and she always found him valuable things in the scrap piles of Sakaar, therefore becoming his favourite scrapper. Then again, she did bring him Thor, who managed to wreak havoc on his perfect planet where he once had total control. Anyway, their band sounded great, so even if the Grand Master was still mad at them, maybe they could win him over with their talent. “I’m alright. Loki, you’ve been a bit quiet - no snarky remarks from you for a while”

Loki was impossible to read. Though he seemed to enjoy playing the guitar, he had appeared quite uninterested in this whole affair. However, his apparent indifference was due to his doubt that they could even get through the audition. He still believed that, with the Grand Master as the judge, he would be biased towards them and they wouldn’t stand a chance. To put it simply, he had given up before they even started. Still, he felt bad that Thor was so hopeful, and was not looking forward to seeing him let down. He always radiated so much joy, but on the rare occasion he felt gloomy, his sadness was just as infectious as his happiness. “I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life,” he replied in the most monotone voice he could muster.

“I spoke too soon, the God of Sarcasm strikes again,” snickered Valkyrie.

Thor was glad no one asked about him. His mind had started to dwell upon the fact that his people were counting on him, and he was really starting to feel the pressure. The sooner he could get his people to their own planet the better, and another opportunity like this may not arise for a long time. This was the probably best chance they we’re going to get, and being nervous would not be at all helpful. Val had told him that the drummer was the backbone of every band, and that’s what he needed to be. Trying to stay positive, he thought about everything that was going well for them. Bruce’s nerves had been calmed, they had practised as much as physically possible, Loki and Val were no longer at loggerheads - sort of, and they hadn’t spotted another rock group in the crowd of contestants, so at least they would stand out. He forced himself not to make a mental list of everything that could go wrong; that would be the worst thing to think about right now.

*

After fifteen long minutes had passed, the same woman who had called Korg up for his audition did the same for them. She led them up to a fire exit door on the outside of the arena, which they assumed was new, as the Grandmaster never had any regard for health and safety before the revolution. It proved quite difficult to get the equipment from one place to another, the drum set being the most troublesome. Bruce carried the snare, hi-hats and cymbals while Thor tried his best to wheel the big bass drum along the floor in front of him, with the toms occupying his arms. They all clattered through the door, Loki complaining about tripping over a trailing cable and Valkyrie telling him to ‘shut up and pick it up, then.’ When they managed to regain themselves, they looked up to see the judging panel a short distance from them. The Grand Master did not look impressed. His celebrity smile had dropped into a frown and he folded his arms, as if criticising them already. Topaz, his burly body guard who was right beside him as always, mirrored his expression. Two young women also sat at each end of the panel, but thankfully they had a more friendly air about them. An X was marked on the floor several feet away, so they moved closer and hastily started setting up their instruments.

“Hello, contestants, and welcome to the Sound of Sakaar!” The woman on the left announced cheerily. “What is the name of your group, and what will you be playing for us today?”

“We’re the Revengers,” Thor answered, “And we will be performing Message in a Bottle by The Police.”

The Grandmaster’s interest seemed to perk at the name of the song and band. Like Valkyrie said, he loved Midgardian music from the 70’s and 80’s era. Maybe he would actually end up liking them after all. “Well, hurry up then,” he said, impatiently, “I don’t have all day.”

They quickly finished setting up and fidgeted awkwardly where they stood, awaiting the count-in from Thor. He brought the sticks together four times, and their audition began.

 

The Grandmaster’s face flickered uncomfortably throughout their performance. He looked strained - as though he wanted to enjoy it but refused to. Loki noticed his feet tapping to the rhythm under the panel table, giving him away. However, the scowl on Topaz’ face was unwavering as usual. These expressions of distaste were unmerited, as the Revengers played well - probably their best yet. Bruce’s voice was loud and confident, despite his slightly trembling legs, and the others did not slip up once. As the song drew to a close, the judges flanking Topaz and the Grandmaster applauded fervently and gave little whoops of delight. The Grandmaster stayed silent, as Topaz whispered something inaudible in his ear, to which he nodded in agreement.

“Well that was, uh, something,” he said, forcing his mouth into a hollow smile. “Very... yeah.” Thor had guessed he might not be fair to them, but he wasn’t even trying to hide it.

Valkyrie narrowed her eyes at him. “That’s it? That’s all we’re getting?”

“Yeah, I mean, it was...” The Grandmaster finished with an undistinguished grunt noise that was neither here nor there. Before Val could retaliate he added, “Anyway, you’ll find out if you got through in a few days, so, uh... thanks for showing up, I guess.”

 

The four of them disassembled their equipment and exited the arena, confused. Loki had anticipated this reaction, but was still surprised that the Grandmaster actually seemed to secretly enjoy their audition. The other three more irritated by his rudeness, with Valkyrie still seething on the journey home. Bruce of course kept asking if it was because he messed up at all and Thor would reassure him repeatedly that he was great and it wasn’t his fault. They really couldn’t tell what the outcome would be - maybe if the other judges had any say, they would stand a chance. But until the day of the results, there was no way of knowing.


	4. Coming to an Arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm terrible for taking ages to update but I'm not really a writer or anything so I'm kinda slow, also school and stuff so yeah. Thanks again for all the comments and kudos!! Also sorry abt how slow the thorbruce is I'm so bad at writing romance lmao I guess I'll figure it out

Unfortunately for Loki, his bed was positioned so that the sunlight at the crack of dawn blared down onto his face through the window. Usually the others wouldn’t wake up until the late morning, so he would have to occupy himself by reading or going for a walk. Today, it would be revealed which contestants had made it through to the next round, and the results would be displayed on a hologram board in the middle of the city for everyone to see. So, he planned to get there first thing this morning, and take it up with the Grandmaster when their name inevitably does not show on the board. Though Loki was not as passionate about creating a new Asgard as his brother, he did want Thor to succeed. Their relationship had been on the mend recently, and maybe if Loki told him that he had gone to the trouble of insisting that the Grandmaster must put them through, Thor would admire him for that.

Not bothering to eat breakfast, he crept through the hall and took the lift down. As usual on his morning strolls, the streets were silent, allowing him to enjoy some much needed time to himself. Valkyrie’s apartment was quite close to the centre of the city, so it didn’t take long for Loki to get there. While he walked, he wondered if maybe the Grandmaster had actually been fair on them. Maybe the other two judges who loved their performance convinced him to put the Revengers through. But he realised this was just wishful thinking, and he would most likely end up having words with the man.

After passing through the twisting streets with currently empty market stalls, he arrived in the centre of the city. In front of him loomed the huge hologram results board with the names of everyone who had passed through to the next round. He sighed, unsurprised, seeing the absence of their band name. “Of course,” he mumbled under his breath, and strode off to the Grandmaster’s penthouse.

 

It was relatively close by, but the building was ridiculously tall and his bedroom was right at the top. The guards at the entrance were slumped against the wall still asleep, allowing Loki to enter without any trouble. He tiptoed over to the glass lift and pressed the button for the highest floor. As the lift ascended, it dawned on him that he didn’t actually know what he was going to say. Maybe he could simply persuade the Grandmaster? They hadn’t spoken in months but he definitely seemed to like Loki when he first landed on Sakaar. If that wasn’t enough, he could always try bargaining with him - which was how Loki got most of what he wanted from him. Before he could construct an argument in his mind, the ding sounded, signifying that he had reached the top. The door slid open, and in front of him led the hallway to the Grandmasters bedroom. Loki had forgotten about the sculptures of the mans own bust, which lined the vibrant, patterned walls. However he did remember the passcode for the room, and considered barging in without warning, demanding to be let through to the next round. But no, it was probably best to approach the situation carefully. He knocked on the double metal doors, sprayed a tacky gold of course, and waited for a response. A strangled yawn resounded from inside, followed by irritable grumbling.

“Open up, En Dwi Gast,” Loki ordered with as much authority as he could muster.

There was a pause, and then, “What the hell, is that you, Loki?”

The doors parted to reveal the Grandmaster standing in his pyjamas and chiffon dressing gown, with yesterdays makeup still smudged around his eyes. Upon seeing that his visitor was indeed Loki, he quickly replaced his look of confusion with a smirk.

“Back for more, huh?”

Loki cringed. “Unfortunately for you, I’m past that now.” He said through gritted teeth, “I’ve come to ask for a favour.”

“A favour? Lokes you know me well enough to know nothing comes for free. But do tell, do tell.”

“You didn’t put my band through even though we performed well. I want you to reconsider.”

“Oh my,” the Grandmaster chuckled, “I didn’t think you of all people would care so much about my little competition.” Before Loki could respond, he suddenly narrowed his eyes and added, “Wait - this isn’t another one of your plans to overthrow me, is it?”

“No, not this time,” Loki smiled a little, remembering his attempt to do so many months ago. His expression became serious again and he continued, “Anyway, this isn’t about me. I could see that you enjoyed our audition. It’s not fair to hold back my brother and his friends because of something trivial we did so long ago.”

The Grandmaster laughed incredulously, “Trivial? You think kickstarting the revolution was Trivial?” He shook his head in disbelief. But then his expression changed, becoming softer. “However I can see you’re trying to be a better person - it’s adorable! I support this with all my heart, I really do.” Loki rolled his eyes before the Grandmaster continued, “But if you want your band put through, I’m gonna need you to do something that may or may not destroy your friendship with Scrapper 142.”

Loki was taken aback by this, “What on earth do you want with her?”

“So you know my brother, The Collector?”

“Yes…”

“Well as you’ll know, he’s quite the hoarder, and there’s one thing he’s been after for ages. Something so rare that no one alive has been found to own one - a Valkyrie’s Dragonfang sword.”

Great. Val’s most precious possession. “You want me to steal her sword for your brother?”

“Yep, and I’ll put The Revengers through to the next round if you succeed. Can’t promise anything after that though, the public vote for their favourite acts from now on.”

Loki sighed, “You just love going out of your way to create problems in people’s lives, don’t you.”

“What can I say? I live for the drama.” He replied with a sly grin.

Loki thought about it for a moment before reluctantly coming to a decision. “Oh for heavens sake, fine.”

“Excellent! Bring it to me now and I’ll have your name on the board before the rest of the city wakes up.”

Loki turned and walked back to the lift but the Grandmaster called after him, “Oh and remember Lokes, my door is always open… Well it’s not, but I know you know all the passcodes. I purposefully haven’t changed them.”

He gagged at what the Grandmaster was insinuating, but chose to ignore him and kept walking.

*

Maybe Valkyrie wouldn’t even notice it was missing. After all, the Dragonfang had been shoved away amongst the clutter of her storage room, perhaps she didn’t care much for it anymore? No, that was ridiculous. It was the only connection she had to her past, of course she would care. This was a terrible idea.

Loki had successfully managed to go back to the apartment, find the sword, take it to the Grandmaster and return home before anyone else woke up. Physically, the task had been quite easy to pull off, but guilt was already starting to cloud his conscience. But despite how he felt, it had to be done. Like he said, this wasn’t about him, or even Valkyrie; it was for Thor, and Asgard. Maybe Val would’ve done the same? In any case, he dreaded the day she found out about this. Their friendship had been on the mend too - well, they weren’t exactly friends yet, but the tension between them had ceased. He just hoped that when she found out, this competition would be over, so that it wouldn’t cause a rift in their band.

 

As Loki cooked breakfast in the kitchen, he heard the rest of the house begin to stir. He felt a stab of guilt when Valkyrie entered the room. She gave him a smile and playfully said that his fried eggs actually looked good, for once. Thor soon followed after her and went over to Bruce’s sofa to wake him. Loki couldn’t help but notice how gentle Thor was with him; lightly petting Bruce’s head and whispering his name softly. Yes, they had to be cautious around him so that he wouldn’t hulk-out, but this was a bit much.

Loki finished the eggs and called over everyone to eat. Bruce was now awake, and Thor helped him up off the sofa to make their way to the table.

“So we find out if we got through, today!” said Thor, excitedly

“I don’t wanna get our hopes up, but I think we just might,” Bruce said with a yawn.

“I think so too,” Loki added. Everyone looked at him in mild surprise.

“You do?” Valkyrie laughed, “Wow, who are you and what have you done with the real Loki! No but really, I’m glad you’ve finally decided to believe in us.”

Another stab of guilt.

They all chatted happily as they ate, talking about what songs they could do next. Loki was pleased he did what he did - it would be awful if they were this optimistic and they hadn’t even passed. But he never expected it to be such a burden on him. That sword was the last known of its kind in the universe, and now it belonged to that idiot hoarder, to whom it was a mere trophy. It carried sentimental value - Valkyrie’s memories of her friends that died in battle. Loki tried not to think about that.

 

They had finished breakfast quickly and immediately set off, eager to find out the results. The streets were now lively, and everyone was flocking to the hologram board in the city centre. The crowd thickened as they came closer and turned the last corner. Before them, the board glowed brightly bearing good news. They instantly spotted their name and shouted triumphantly, punching the air while Loki breathed a small sigh of relief that the Grandmaster had indeed kept his word.

“We did it! We got through!” Valkyrie cried, giving each one of them a hug - even Loki. “I knew we would, we’re just too good.”

“And I didn’t let the team down!” Bruce laughed, half serious.

“Don’t be silly, you could never!” Thor responded earnestly, “You will be the reason Asgard will have a new home!”

Bruce smiled sheepishly, “Okay, don’t get too carried away, this was only the audition.”

“But now, the people vote for their favourite acts, and I know they’ll love you as much as I do.” Thor stopped, realising what he had said. “I mean, _we_ do.” He laughed it off, a little too jovially. “Come on, lets go back and have a celebratory drink!”

“I swear we have a celebratory drink for every single thing we do,” Loki muttered, but smiled at Thor’s enthusiasm all the same.


	5. Knockout Round

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again it takes a century for me to update, but by this point that should be expected lmao. I just wanna apologise for the small and sad attempt at romance in this god this is gonna be REALLY slowburn huh. I'll try to speed things up but this is gonna be like 10+ chapters so we've got time. Tbh I'm more excited about how much shit Loki's gonna be in lol

Sakaar’s sun began to set behind the skyscrapers and towers of junk that lined the horizon. They had pulled one of the sofas from the storage room into the living room so that they could sit close to one another while they shared a drink. It turned out that Valkyrie had a good few alcoholic beverages from each of the Nine Realms, and their “celebratory drink” had turned into a full blown tasting session. Valkyrie picked up two frosted glass bottles from her shelf and set them down on the coffee table.

Thor quickly recognised them. “Hey Loki, these are Jötunheim’s! Do you remember them?”

“Thor, I was a _baby_.”

“Still.” Thor took a swig from one of the bottles. “Hm. Quite bitter, just like someone I know-“

“Yes, hilarious,” Loki sighed, used to his stupid jokes. “Anyway, I’m keen to try a Midgardian drink.”

“Coming right up.” Valkyrie went back to the shelf to retrieve some beer.

Bruce’s face lit up at the sight of it. There wasn’t much Midgardian food and drink on this planet, so he became very excited when he found something that wasn’t live insects or radioactive green in colour. At the very first sip, it was as if he had hurtled back into the past. Stark Tower - Tony, Natasha, Steve, and the other Avengers all sat in the lounge area, Bruce holding a beer in his hand, all laughing at god knows what. A sadness began to creep in on him as he indulged in the memory, realising just how much he missed his friends. It had been so long. They had managed to get a message to Tony that they were all safe and living on Sakaar for now, but other than that, there had been no contact with the other Avengers. All he wanted to see them again.

Bruce must’ve spaced out, because the others had stopped chatting and were giving him concerned looks. “Are you okay?” Thor asked.

Of course he wasn’t. He hadn’t been on Earth for over two years. For a while now he had wanted to return home, but then of course there was this song contest he’d been sucked into. He hadn’t brought this up with the others either - Thor already had enough on his plate. He thought maybe he could stick it out until the end of the competition, but it was proving difficult. Right now, he wanted to go home more than ever, but he knew he couldn’t. “I’m okay. I’m just a little homesick I guess.”

Thor and Valkyrie sat up, faces serious and understanding. “I thought you must be,” said Thor, “But you haven’t said anything about it for ages.”

Bruce bit his lip. “Well, I didn’t wanna say anything. And there’s currently no way of getting home, so...”

“Bruce,” Valkyrie sighed, half sympathetic, half exasperated. “You could’ve told us! There’s nothing stopping us hijacking another ship and flying you to earth.”

“Um, what about the law? And I’m not going through another Satan-Butthole.”

“Devil’s Anus.” She corrected.

“And anyway, we’re in this contest now, I wouldn’t back out on you like that.”

Thor’s face shifted into a look of pure adulation. “Banner, you have a heart of gold.”

“It’s true... it’s almost sickening.” Added Loki, who had been awkwardly spectating from the far end of the sofa. Bruce gave a little snort of laughter and tried to brush off the compliment.

“I miss them all - Tony, Nat,” Bruce began with a sad smile, “But if I’m gonna be stuck on an alien planet at the other side of the galaxy, I’m glad I’m with you guys.”

Thor and Val both made sickly sweet _awww's_  at his touching statement and pulled him into a group-bear hug. Even Loki flashed a shadow of a smile.

 

They chattered on for a while, telling wistful stories about their home planets. It wasn’t just Bruce who felt far from home. The two brothers missed Asgard greatly, and had just recently witnessed everything they had ever known taken from them in one huge explosion. And despite Valkyrie living on Sakaar for a good thousand years, it had never felt like home to her. Then they shared their ideas on what their new Asgard would look like. The plan was that they would find a small, bare, deserted planet with little or no life, and build houses, schools, castles, everything that Asgard had. With the money, they could buy all the resources they needed to kickstart their lives, like seeds, tools, metals, and animals of course. Luckily, Sakaar wasn’t the only planet that used Units as a currency, and most places would be willing to exchange it. This planet didn’t have much to offer in terms of good quality materials.

Bruce asked them what was the one thing they most wanted to have on this new planet. Thor wanted Asgard to have at least one mountain - and if there weren’t natural mountains on the new planet, he would build one. Loki wanted a palace of his own, made entirely out of diamond. Apparently the golden structures on the previous Asgard were ‘tacky.’ Valkyrie wanted a school for young girls to train to become Valkyries, and also a bar for every square mile.

After another hour or so, the conversation began to die down and they decided it was time to turn in for the night. By this point, Bruce was quite tipsy from all the drinks they tried (the Asgardians were completely unaffected of course). Loki and Val left before Thor, who stayed in the living room for a bit, preparing Bruce’s sofa bed for him.

“Such a good friend,” Bruce drawled, “Always helping.”

“No _you’re_ such a good friend!” Thor countered, as if were a competition. “You put the needs of your friends over yourself. Like a true hero.”

“I’m not a hero… I’m a _rockstaaa_ r.”

Thor laughed as Bruce mimed shredding on an air guitar. “That you are,” said Thor fondly. He finished fussing with the pillows and making sure the sofa bed was as comfortable as possible. “Come on, you need your beauty sleep.”

“I’m already beautiful,” Bruce mumbled as he flopped onto his bed. His overgrown hair rippled as it hit the pillow, forming a halo around his head. Almost instantly he fell asleep, snoring softly. He seemed deep in thought, with a furrowed brow and slightly pouty lips. Maybe he would’ve looked wise if it weren’t for his limbs sprawled in all different directions, as if frozen mid dance. Disheveled and a mess, with his shirt collar sticking up; beautiful didn't even come close. 

 

* 

_A week later_

The Revengers waited anxiously ‘backstage’ in that tiny room between the fire exit and the inside of the arena. It was almost pitch black and crammed full with stray pieces of equipment. Thor peeked his head through the curtain to check out the size of the crowd. It wasn’t too big thankfully, just a few hundred spectators dotted around the seating. But a few hundred seemed a lot larger to Bruce. Needless to say, he was freaking out a bit.

“Just close your eyes, then you can’t see anyone,” said Valkyrie.

“How will that help? I still know they’re there!” Bruce hissed, frantically running his hands through his hair. Then, the performance from the act currently playing came to an end, and was met with applause from the audience. He gulped, knowing it was time.

_“Now, please welcome to the stage, The Revengers!”_

The crowd clapped politely as they walked out to the centre of the floor. Thank god there was no spotlight or raised platform -after all it was just the knockout round. Luckily this time the amps and drum kit were already set up for them so they didn’t have to embarrass themselves by fumbling around with the equipment. They assumed their positions without haste, and Thor counted them in with his drumsticks as usual.

Bruce had his eyes tight shut for the whole thing, of course. It didn’t help his nerves, but it allowed him to distance himself from his surroundings and focus on the music. This didn’t have to be something he enjoyed, it was something that had to be done. But he loved practising with the others, where there were no judging eyes glued to him. As a teenager he had fantasised about being part of a band, but never imagined himself as the lead singer. Man, it was so stressful. And then there was the added pressure of making sure his pulse stays low so that the Hulk wouldn’t come out. He briefly wondered if the Hulk could sing. The thought amused him, but no, that would be ridiculous. And then, the song was over. He had barely even been registering the words coming out of his mouth, lost in his train of thought.

Bruce finally opened his eyes. Every spectator was standing up, applauding vigorously and cheering for them. He looked behind him to his fellow band mates, who all smiled encouragingly back at him. Thor waved to the audience as they left the stage and headed to the exit, serenaded by little chants of “Thunder! Thunder!”

 

“They really liked us!” said Valkyrie excitedly as they stepped out into the street.

“I know!” Thor practically squeaked. “Honestly, I think we should make a career out of this.”

“Do you just forget you’re a king sometimes?” said Loki with a little laugh.

“Ah, shut up, Twink, let him dream,” said Val, giving his arm a playful punch (which hurt more than Loki would care to let on).

Despite her calling him a 'twink' on an almost daily basis, he still had no idea what it was. “Would you care to tell me what that word actually means?”

“Wait, I know,” Thor chimed in, “They’re those Midgardian snacks - spongy things with cream inside.”

“Uh, no that’s not…” Bruce began, not really keen on explaining what a twink was. “You’re thinking of a Twinkie.”

“Are they not the same thing?” Thor asked, confused.

“Definitely not.”

Loki opened his mouth to demand an explanation, but Valkyrie quickly cut across him, saying they should stop dawdling and head home.

“Oh yeah I’ve been meaning to ask - has anyone seen my Dragonfang?” She asked casually as they walked. Loki froze.

“You lost your Valkyrie sword?” Exclaimed Thor, incredulously. “How do you just lose something that valuable?”

Val shrugged. “Dunno. It’s probably somewhere in my junk room, but it is really important to me, so tell me if you find it. Just hope some scrapper hasn’t stolen it.”

Shit, Loki didn’t think she’d notice it was missing this soon! He told himself that he would just stay silent about it until the competition was over. Or maybe he _should_ tell her? She did deserve the truth. God, having morals was so hard.

“So… What would you do if someone _had_ stolen it?” Loki asked as nonchalantly as he could.

“Well before the revolution I would’ve just killed them, but I think thats illegal now. I’d probably just make sure they suffered as much as physically possible.”

She said that far too offhandedly for Loki’s liking. Maybe she’d be easier on him, since they were friends now - or were they even friends? It was hard to tell, but she had definitely been nicer to him recently. Of course, that made it all the more difficult to come clean. If he told her now, the band could fall apart. If he waited until after the contest, she’d be furious that he hadn’t told her sooner and might actually kill him. He decided he didn’t want to die.

“Valkyrie?” He took a deep breath. “There’s something I must confess.”


	6. The Rift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys I tried to update quicker but school’s a bitch. Little warning, theres a bit of violence but nothing too gory. Also whenever I write ANYTHING remotely romantic I end up hating myself so this was A Bit Of A Struggle lmao (also I forgot Thor would still have an eye patch since this is like an AU where Thanos doesn’t destroy everyone’s happiness so I’m sorry if I ever talked bout his eyes plural)

“You stole it.”

Loki waited in fear for the explosion he knew would come. He had feebly tried to tell his side of the story in a way that made his actions seem justified, but Val wasn’t having it. He could tell something was boiling up inside of her, about to erupt in his face. He just wished it _would_ already. It was honestly terrifying to see her seething in silence, slowly pacing round in front of him, staring down at the ground.

“Of course you fucking stole it.”

He glanced at Thor for help, but he just gave him a look that said, ‘ _You’re on your own with this one._ ’ Loki didn’t want to apologise. He wanted her to see that it was the right thing to do. “I had to. It was the only way the Grandmaster would be fair on us in the audition.”

“And you thought you could make that decision yourself, did you?” Valkyrie looked up at him with a humourless smile. “So you just thought - You know what would be a great idea? Stealing the one thing I have left from my past, give it to that slutty old man, and not even bother to ask me first.”

“Oh, I’m _so_ sorry for thinking that the fate of Asgard was more important than some sword.” _Possibly not the best time to be snarky,_ Loki realised a little too late, as Valkyrie’s fist soared into his mouth. He doubled over in pain and cradled his face, blood dripping through his fingers.

Valkyrie was advancing on him again, so Thor decided it was best to step in. “Okay, he deserved that,” he said bridging the gap between the two, “But no more, alright?” But Valkyrie wasn’t finished. She shoved away Thor’s protesting hands and swung at Loki again. This time it sent him staggering back, but he quickly recovered and flicked out his wrists, conjuring up his signature daggers.

“No!” Thor shouted, creating a barrier again, “No, no, we are not doing this. Loki put your knives away.” Loki reluctantly let the knives retract back into his sleeves. A few passers by had stopped to watch, some of which he recognised as the spectators from their performance.

“Stop this, we could get disqualified,” said Loki, wiping away some of the blood from his chin.

“Fucking hell, is that all you care about!?” Valkyrie bellowed, wrestling Thor to get to Loki.

“You don’t care enough!” Loki hissed, “This isn’t about you it’s about Asgard, you selfish bitch!”

With a surge of rage she lunged at him, tackling him to the floor and pinning him down by the neck with her forearm. She threw punch after punch without mercy, but received a sharp kick in the ribs from Loki and tumbled off him. He scrambled up and twisted Val’s arm behind her back, but she easily broke free, and delivered a blow to his chin.

“Guys, stop!” Bruce cried, as Thor ran forward to separate them. But they were both moving so fast that Thor could barely distinguish one from the other, let alone pull them apart. They were relentless; Kicking and punching, screaming and scratching like wild animals. It didn’t look like there would be a winner or an end.

 **“I SAID STOP!”** They all froze. In that scream were two voices: Bruce’s own, coupled with the Hulk’s roar. They all turned to see the bright green warning pulsing through Bruce’s neck. As much as Valkyrie wanted to see Loki completely beaten to a pulp, she knew she had to stop now. She had Loki by the collar of his stupid leather jacket, so as one final dig, she hoisted him up by it, and thew him back down with a thud.

“Come back to the house and you’re dead,” she spat at him, before storming off down the street.

The green was ebbing away from Bruce’s neck, but he was still breathing heavily. Thor tread carefully over to him, and rested a hand on his back, rubbing slowly in calming circles.

Loki groaned as he tried to prop himself up off the ground. “Thanks for all the help, brother,” he said reproachfully, prodding the wounds on his face and wincing.

“Well, you had it coming,” Thor sighed. “Jesus Christ, Loki, I can’t believe you took her Dragonfang!”

“You know I had no choice.” He dusted himself off and adjusted his jacket. “And just where the hell am I supposed to go if I’m not allowed back?”

“I think you know where,” said Thor, looking up at at the Grandmaster’s penthouse that towered over the city.

“No. No way.”

“It’s that or the junk piles. I’ll see you later, Bro.” Thor headed off with Bruce down a different route to Valkyrie, leaving Loki to stare disbelievingly after him.

 

*

Neither of them wanted to go back to the house with Valkyrie there in her current state. So, Thor had built a little den out of metal scraps at the foot of a nearby junk pile so Bruce could calm down. They overturned two buckets and there they sat for a while. It turned out that Bruce had not noticed the cameras above their heads as they performed, and that a live recording was being streamed on every TV in Sakaar. Well, at least he was unaware of that while he sang, or he might’ve seized up completely. But would any of that even matter now? Both Loki and Valkyrie were very stubborn, and unlikely to apologise or forgive any time soon.

Bruce sighed, breaking the silence. “So, what now?”

“I honestly don’t know,” said Thor, looking up at the sky as if searching for answers. “I suppose we just leave them both alone for a while.”

“But the quarter finals are next week - If we get through, obviously.”

“I could try to get Loki to apologise, but whether or not Val will forgive him is out of our hands.”

Bruce allowed himself a dry smile as he imagined Loki giving a half-arsed apology, met with Valkyrie socking him in the jaw again.

“I know this is about Asgard and all,” said Thor, “But I was really enjoying myself. Though I bet you’ll be glad when its over.”

Bruce shook his head quickly. “No! I mean, yeah I hate performing but I love practising with you guys.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed you really get into it when we’re just rehearsing. You sound a lot better when you’re confident.” Thor realised how that could be taken the wrong way and quickly backtracked. “Sorry, I didn’t mean you’re not good when you-“

Bruce cut him off, “Nah, don’t worry, you’re right anyways.” He definitely sounded better in rehearsals when his voice wasn’t trembling with nerves. If only he could pre-record, and lip-sync on stage, but they’d be disqualified for sure.

“You know what our band needs?” Thor suddenly blurted, hastily changing the subject. “Makeovers.”

“What?”

“Yeah!” He turned to Bruce, radiating zeal. “I could… shave in those patterns in my hair like that crazy old man did before the arena fight. Or paint a lightning bolt over my eye patch. Maybe get a new cape. I miss my cape.”

Bruce let himself indulge in the fantasy too. “Val would look badass with like, the side of her head shaved or something.”

Thor chuckled, trying to imagine Valkyrie’s reaction to being told they want her to shave her head. “I’d love to see what she’d think of that.”

“I can see Loki in some heavy black eyeliner,” Bruce continued, “Maybe even black lipstick.”

“Lipstick!” Thor cried, his chuckles becoming hoots of laughter, “God I can picture it so clearly.”

“And what about me?”

Thor paused and scratched his beard, thinking about what would Bruce would suit. “Maybe if we spiked your hair up...” He ruffled Bruce’s hair, trying to make it stand up but the curls just flopped down onto his face.

“Wait, try electrocuting it and see what happens,” said Bruce, eagerly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, do it!”

Little sparks crackled at Thor’s fingertips as he hesitantly moved his hand to Bruce’s hair. Zap! Bruce yelped and jumped about a foot, almost falling off the bucket. “Agh, sorry!” Thor grabbed Bruce to steady him and take a look at the damage he’d done. Each wiry silver hair stood on end, making him look like a terrified porcupine. The place Thor had touched was slightly singed, and left behind that unmistakable smell of burnt hair.

“Oh wow, you look... exciting.” Thor did his best to contain his amusement, but a few little giggles escaped his lips.

“Get me a mirror right now.”

Thor sprang to his feet and searched through the nearby junk. It wasn’t long before he found a cracked bathroom mirror, and brought it back to hold up in front of Bruce. He stared at his own reflection for a moment, and burst into hysterical laughter. “I look like a punk-rock Einstein!” He wheezed.

“You are a punk-rock Einstein!” Said Thor, laughing with him. “You should also get some of those leather boots to be a true punk. Or maybe some fingerless gloves.” Without warning, he grabbed Bruce’s hand, seemingly just very enthusiastic about the fingerless gloves, not knowing that Bruce’s heart had skipped several beats. “And also, I saw a man on one of Val’s vinyls who had a star painted around his eye.” Edging closer, Thor traced a zigzagging pattern around Bruce’s eye with the tip of his finger. “And since you’re the star of the show, I think it would look good on you.”

Thor was very close. He had not properly let go of Bruce’s hand and still had that glowing smile on his lips. It sent his mind into a frenzy. The telltale warmth began to creep into his cheeks as Thor’s sparkling blue eye trapped his gaze. He was too close.

Suddenly the sound of harsh television static pulled them both back to reality. Then, came the unmistakable voice of the Grandmaster, slightly muffled. Just outside their den, under a broken table, was a small TV still apparently functioning. They hurried over and Thor hauled the table off of it.

_“Good afternoon, Sakaarians. Your votes have been collected and counted, and I am delighted to announce the twenty acts that will proceed to the quarter finals!”_

“Shit, only twenty?” said Bruce, “I don’t think we’ll make it.”

The Grandmaster listed off the acts one by one, showing five seconds of footage from the performance of each successful act. Five spaces taken. Ten. Fifteen. Then finally, he (rather reluctantly) called out, _“The Revengers.”_

“Yes!” They shouted in unison, throwing themselves into a hug. Then, upon remembering the current situation, Bruce broke away with a bittersweet look on his face.

“But it probably won’t make a difference now.”

“No.” Thor responded, firmly. “We'll find a way to make this work, I swear it.”

 

*

“Ah, my favourite visitor!” The Grandmaster sashayed towards Loki, flanked by two bodyguards. Loki glanced over his shoulder at the exit and strongly considered making a run for it. But where would he go. “What’s the occasion, sugar?”

“Thanks to your offer, I was kicked out of the house.”

“Kicked out? Oh thats terrible!” The Grandmaster replied, thoroughly delighted.

“Yes,” Loki clenched his teeth, “So I need a place to stay.” He quickly averted his eyes so as not to subject himself to the Grandmaster’s shit-eating grin.

“Well unfortunately, my darling, all the guest rooms are full,” he said with a sly wink.

“Of course they are.” Loki grimaced.

“ _Buuut_ my bed has room for two.”

It wasn’t as if Loki hadn’t prepared himself for kind of response, but he still hesitated before sighing reluctantly. ”I suppose I would prefer that to sleeping in a pile of rubbish.”

The Grandmaster practically squealed. “Awww! You prefer me over a junk pile! That honestly warms my heart.”

Forcefully linking arms with Loki, the Grandmaster dragged him over into the elevator. “This’ll be just like old times!”

“No it will not!” Loki snarled indignantly as the doors slid closed.


	7. The Quarter Finals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh ok I know its been like 2 months im SORRY I had a lot of stuff going on but I will NOT give up on this fic I am determined to see it through to the end lmao. also i know this chapter's kind of all over the place but i cba to change it anymore

“WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT COMING BACK TO THE HOUSE.”

The sound of a bottle smashing against a wall made Thor and Bruce jump up from the sofa and spin round.

“Would you calm down for a second?” Said Loki from the doorway, ducking to avoid a second bottle. “I need my guitar and I need to know what song we’re doing for the quarter finals.”

Barely two days had passed since their fight, and it looked like neither of them had cooled off yet.

“Don’t know. Haven’t decided,” Valkyrie snapped. “Now piss off back to your sugar daddy.”

“But-“

“Just get your stupid guitar and go!”

Loki looked incredulously at Thor, who simply nodded his head in Valkyrie’s direction, advising Loki to do as she said. He huffed and strode to the practise room to take his guitar, his footsteps fading as he went back down the stairs and out of the apartment.

Valkyrie waited until the door slammed before letting her tense shoulders relax, and flopped down onto the sofa. “Didn’t even try to apologise, the cheeky bastard.”

“Would you have forgiven him?” Asked Thor.

“No, but that’s not the point.”

Thor sighed. “So what, is he out of the band now?”

“I don’t know, right now I just want him out of my flat.”

“Look Val," Bruce sat down next to her. "I know he’s an asshole but we just won’t sound as good without a guitarist.”

“Oh come on, we’ll be fine,” she said, “Plus, every time I see his face I want to tear it off. So yeah, I just need some more time.”

 

*

That evening, Thor thought it was best to pay Loki a visit. Although Loki was getting what he deserved, Thor still felt a little bad for making him stay with the Grandmaster. He knew that life there could be a little… intense. As he took the lift up to the penthouse, it occurred to him that this was his first time back here since he was trapped in that remote control chair and forced to to take a tour with the Grandmaster. Loki didn’t get a stupid chair, the little weasel. The noise from the party faded into earshot, and Thor was able to decipher some kind of chant from the racket. _Mischief! Mischief! Mischief!_ He didn’t have long to wonder what it meant, as moments later the lift doors slid open, answering his question.

In the very centre of the room was Loki, spinning at breakneck speed around a pole, clad in a shimmering blue skintight bodysuit. Loki caught sight of his dumbfounded brother, still standing in the lift, completely lost for words. He stopped spinning, turning bright red, and the crowd stopped chanting.

“Hey look, It’s the other Odinson!” Said the Grandmaster cheerfully, emerging from the crowd. “Have you come to show us your moves too?”

Thor awkwardly shifted on the spot. “Um… Should I come back later or-“

“No wait,” Loki hopped down from the pole, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. “Come over here.” Loki gestured to the corner of the room.

“Okay… uh, what’s with the ‘Mischief’ thing?”

“That’s his stripper name!” Called the Grandmaster.

“Will you shut up!” Loki hissed at him. Once safely in the corner, Thor pulled out some papers from his pocket.

“This is the sheet music for the song we’re doing.”

“Right. So has Val forgiven me?”

“Er… Not exactly. She doesn’t know I’m here. I mean, she must be over it in a week, right?”

“Wouldn’t count on it.” There was a pause, as Thor stared at Loki’s ridiculous outfit. He looked like a male figure skater - or more specifically, Jimmy MacElroy from Blades of Glory. Loki noticed that Thor trying to repress a smirk. He scowled and gave Thor a discrete punch to the stomach.

“You will never speak of this.”

Thor chuckled and pat his brother on the shoulder. “Of course. I’ll let you get back to entertaining your fans.”

“Wait, any idea of when I’ll be allowed back home?” Said Loki, a hint of desperation in his voice.

“Ehhh nope.” Thor replied, grinning and turning back to the lift. “Enjoy your bodysuits, brother.”

 

*

_A week later_

The crowd was considerably bigger now than in the previous round. The stadium was about three quarters full, and the polite applause from last week had turned into roars and screams of both love and hate. They had already heard a few acts get booed off stage which was not at all encouraging, especially since they now lacked a guitarist. But if Thor and Valkyrie were nervous, it was nothing compared to how Bruce was feeling. He kept peering through the backstage doors, praying that somehow there would be less people with every time he looked. His heart raced faster and faster with every act that finished, knowing that they were getting closer and closer to their turn. And to think he was scared singing in front of a few hundred people in the knockout round… Now, he would give anything to switch places with his past self.

Just then, the fire escape door leading outside burst open and in stumbled Loki, out of breath and clutching his guitar.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Valkyrie hissed.

“Thor told me to come, don’t worry, I’ve practised the song and-“

“Thor!?” She snapped round, giving Thor an accusing stare. Thor tried to defend himself, half sheepish, half frightened.

“I just thought that we’d have a better chance of getting through if we had a guitarist!”

Valkyrie laughed, coldly. “Is it an Odinson thing? Doing whatever _you_ think is best because fuck anyone else’s feelings, right?”

“Oh my god,” Loki grumbled. “Why can’t you just-“ She turned to glare at him, daring him to finish. “Can’t you just get over yourself for five minutes?”

In one swift movement, Valkyrie grabbed the neck of her bass, swung it through the air, and slammed it down like an axe where Loki stood. Luckily, he managed to jump out of the way and dodge the attack. However, Valkyries bass was not so lucky. The body had completely broken off from the neck, and the strings had all snapped and coiled up into sad little spirals.

Suddenly, Bruce yelped in pain and stumbled back into a pile of spare equipment. Thor rushed to his side while he writhed and spasmed in agony.

“What’s going on?” Said Valkyrie, dropping what remained of her bass. Grabbing Bruce by the shoulders to steady him, Thor’s stomach dropped. By the dim light of the room, he could see green, coursing through the veins in his neck and face.

“Shit. He’s hulking out!” Cried Thor.

“What, _now?”_

“It must’ve been the stress!” Thor tried to wrap his arms around the convulsing body but was thrown off with a roar. They all watched in horror as the monster continued to grow, filling the already cramped room. The Hulk staggered around, crashing into everything and everyone, yelling out in confusion.

“What do we do!” Valkyrie screamed over the clammer.

“Uhh…” Thor thought desperately for some kind of plan. “Okay, on three, everyone push him into the wall. One, Two, Three!”

With one huge shove from everyone, they slammed the Hulk to the wall with a thud, causing the room to shudder. Thor ran over to the disorientated Hulk before he could do any more damage.

“It’s okay, it’s just us. We’re not gonna hurt you.” Thor consoled him while Valkyrie and Loki stared blankly.

 **“THOR PUSHED HULK!”** The Hulk shouted indignantly, trying to stand up again but Thor eased him back down.

“We had to, you were destroying everything.” Said Thor. Then, with the worst timing possible, they heard the cheers from inside the stadium as the current act finished playing, followed by the announcement, _“Next up, The Revengers!”_

They all looked at each other, completely stuck for what to do.

“Um… Hulk, can you sing?” Asked Thor, fruitlessly.

 **“HULK NO SING. HULK ONLY SCREAM. AAAAAAA-“** They frantically shushed him, praying that no one from inside heard.

Then, Loki thought of something. “Val, you can sing, can’t you?”

“I’m not-“

“There’s a song that the Grandmaster played on repeat when I was staying with him - ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us’ - do you know it?”

Valkyrie looked disgusted. “If you think I’m gonna sing a love ballad duet with you-“

“Come on,” he said, slinging his guitar strap over his shoulder, “It’s the least you can do to redeem yourself.”

“Redeem _myself?!”_ She said furiously, but Loki had already grabbed her arm and dragged her out into the arena.

 

Hidden beneath Valkyrie’s rage was a fear she would never admit to. She hadn’t sang in front of anyone since the other valkyries were killed. She hadn’t even heard the sound of her own voice without it accompanied by offensively loud music during a jam session. What if, after all these years, she’d gone to shit, and was about to humiliate herself in front of half of Sakaar? And they hadn’t even practised this song - not that she would’ve ever consented to the song choice. Trust Loki to pick a stupid cheesy love song and make this whole ordeal even more painful. She swore to herself that he would die at her hands when this was over.

They both looked like a deer in the headlights, standing in the spotlight as the applauding crowd fell silent. Then, Loki strummed the first chord. His guitar had been set to acoustic, which made a crisper, cleaner sound, unlike the usual distortion setting he used when performing rock songs. After a few bars of introduction, he began to sing the first verse. _Damn_ , thought Valkyrie, _he was actually pretty good_ . His voice was low and sweet, and also very warm. Definitely not rock singer material, but a good singer all the same. A few of the ladies in the audience gave shrieks of delight as they swooned, and Val rolled her eyes. But now, it was time for the female part.

God, it was so alien to hear her voice reverberate around a stadium like that. And judging from the cheers that followed her first line, she hadn’t lost her forgotten talent. The thrill of singing again rushed over her for a moment, but then came the sickly sweet harmonies of the chorus and the magic died. This song was so overplayed on this stupid planet. But if it got them the votes, then maybe it was worth it. Valkyrie endured the rest of the song, with its corny lyrics and key change. Although she had to admit, their acoustic version was a lot less insufferable than the electronic original.

As the song drew to an end, they were met with a standing ovation from the crowd. _Well at least they enjoyed it_ , Valkyrie mused, giving the audience a wave as she headed out of the arena, not bothering to wait for Loki. Valkyrie approached the backstage room where Thor was watching the performance through a gap in the door, mouth hanging open, utterly astounded.

“Wh- Where did that come from!?” Thor said, his voice pitching up in disbelief. A second later, Loki came through the door.

“And you!” Thor span round to face Loki “How have I not heard _that_ before!”

“There is much you do not know about me, brother.” He replied with a sly smile.

“Ok, Mystery Man, stop being a smug bastard. We still have to deal with this,” Valkyrie pointed to the Hulk, hunched in a corner, grunting and twisting a music stand between his fingers like a paper clip.

“Ah yes,” said Thor, as if he had forgotten all about it in his excitement. “That.”


	8. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, don't even mention how long this took I'm SORRY. ALSO can we just talk about how Endgame STOLE my "new asgard" idea??? I mean this one isn't gonna be in Norway but still. Think I could sue for copyright? lmao  
> Anyway this chapter is a little longer to make up for the slow update. Also I love EVERYONE who leaves nice comments like tysm you are all blessings <333 enjoy

The three of them thought it would be best to take the Hulk out into a quiet alley, to try and get Banner back without attracting any unwanted attention. However, trying to convince the Hulk to ‘de-hulk’ was proving to be very difficult, as he began to pity himself.

 **“NO ONE WANT HULK. EVERYONE WANT HULK GONE.”** He huffed, slumped against the wall.

“Come on now, that’s not true!” Thor tried his best to reassure him. “Everyone loves Hulk! But we don’t want the Grandmaster finding you like this or he might take you away again.”

 **“OLD MAN TREAT HULK LIKE KING!”** He bellowed.

“Yes but he kept you here for two years, remember?” If he were to change back into Banner, Thor needed to soften him up. “Don’t you miss home?”

 **“EARTH HATE HULK. SAKAAR LIKE HULK.”** Thor couldn’t argue with that.

Valkyrie tried a different, less tactful approach, “Look, right now we need Bruce, because he can sing and you can’t.” The Hulk grumbled and stubbornly shuffled around to face the wall instead of them.

 **“PUNY GOD SING BETTER THAN HULK.”** Loki stared at the Hulk in disbelief.

“Well,” Valkyrie turned to Loki. “Apologise to him.”

“Wh- Are you serious!?” He spluttered.

Thor shrugged. “I mean, if it makes him feel better…”

Loki gave an exasperated scoff. “Well I’m _sorry_ that I’m a better singer than you.”

The Hulk grunted in disapproval and turned his face away again. Irritated, Loki threw up his hands in a dramatic fashion.

“Well this is obviously useless. I’m not staying around to flog a dead horse, so I’ll be off.”

Valkyrie scowled after him before turning back to their big green problem. “What should we do?”

Thor thought before taking a different standpoint. “Hulk, if you don’t give us Banner right now we’re gonna… we’re gonna paint signs that says ‘Hulk stinks’ and put them up all over Sakaar.”

**“HULK NO STINK. THOR STINK.”**

“No, Hulk stink!”

**“THOR STINK!”**

“YOU BOTH STINK!” Valkyrie yelled, finally losing her sanity. “You both stink and you’re both not helping!”

“Well what do _you_ suggest?”

Valkyrie spotted a large sheet lying in a pile of rubbish in the corner of the alley. She dashed over, grabbed it, and threw it over the Hulk. “Don’t let anyone see you, alright? I don’t want to draw any attention to ourselves.”

“You can’t take him back to the flat like that, he’s too big!” Cried Thor.

“Do you have a better idea?”

“No I suppose not. You do that. I’m gonna try and catch up with my brother.”

“Oh yeah, great. Just leave me with this. I’ll be fine,” said Valkyrie scornfully.

“Okay, good.” Thor gave a quick thumbs up before hurrying off

 

*

The evening was Thor’s favourite time of day on Sakaar. In the daytime, the blaring light from the sun hit the shiny surfaces of rooftops and bits of scrap lying in in the street, sending blinding beams everywhere. At night, it seemed that all the larger buildings in the city had accumulated every single set of neon disco lights from the 70s, polluting the skyline with a garish multicoloured glow. The evening was perfect; the sun setting behind tall structures and junk piles cast tall shadows, and the golden hue diluted the lurid colours of the city. Thor first of all checked the Grandmaster's penthouse in search of this brother but to his surprise, Loki had not returned. So, Thor wandered aimlessly around the streets and scrap heaps, wondering where his brother could be. Eventually, he spotted a lone black figure sitting on top of one of the larger piles of junk on the outskirts of the city, overlooking a lake. Thor approached, and Loki turned at the sound of his footsteps crunching bits of rubbish.

“The Grandmaster must be wondering where you are,” said Thor, sitting down beside him.

“I don’t want to deal with him tonight,” Loki replied, staring straight ahead. “You know,” he continued, “I wouldn’t be surprised if this lake consisted entirely of bin-juice.”

Thor chuckled. “That’s a nice thought.” They sat in silence for a few moments, looking out at the bin-juice lake. Thor could tell something was bothering Loki - his eyes had glazed over, dulling away that ever present mischievous glint. Thor knew not to ask. He waited patiently until he spoke again on his own terms.

“Do you remember how clear the lakes were on Asgard?” Loki paused to reflect. “You could see the very bottom of those thirty-foot deep ones. The boulders at the bottom looked like pebbles. They fooled me quite a few times. I nearly drowned underestimating the depth.”

“I’m pretty sure I had to dive in and save you,” Thor said with a reminiscent laugh.

“I would’ve been fine, you just liked playing the hero,” Loki replied indignantly. His expression softened again and he continued, “I liked to practise spells by the lakes. Remember when I walked on the water?”

“You mean when you made an illusion of yourself hover above the water?”

“You were impressed at the time.”

Thor smiled. “Yeah, I was.”

They sat in silence, gazing out across the lake. It was a while before either of them spoke again.

“Thor?” Loki asked, hesitantly.

“Yes, Loki?”

“On our new Asgard, I want those lakes.”

Thor looked over to him and smiled. In that moment, he was his little brother again; the clingy, raven-haired boy, asking Thor to make him another wooden sword or to buy him an apple at the market. It got to the point where Loki expected Thor to fulfil his wishes every time, or else he would throw a tantrum. Eventually, Loki learned to appreciate what Thor did for him, though he still couldn’t resist asking for little things every now and then as they grew older.

“What happened to that diamond palace you wanted?”

“Well,” Loki started sheepishly, “If we _do_ have enough money for that too-“

Thor laughed, “You can pay for that yourself. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get those lakes. Without a trace of bin juice.”

Loki smiled, a little embarrassed at his childish request.

“You know, there’s one more thing I want,” said Thor.

“And what’s that?”

“For us to rule side by side. The way it was supposed to be.”

Loki looked up at his brother in shock. “What? Why!”

“Oh come on,” he chuckled again, “You’re not that bad. You saved everyone on the bridge, remember? You deserve a second chance.”

Loki was stunned. This was all he’d ever wanted since they were children. However he looked away to hide any joy that his face might’ve shown. “I think I used my second chance a long time ago,” he muttered.

“Just shut up, alright? You’ll be great. Besides, I need someone to shoot down any stupid ideas I might have.”

Loki finally let Thor see his smile. “What, you mean like entering a song contest on an alien planet?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Thor said in mock indignation. “Anyway, if we want to make this work, you have to apologise to Val.”

Loki gave a frustrated sigh. “Even if I wanted to, I probably couldn’t get within twenty feet of her without being killed.”

“Can’t you just steal back the sword?”

“No, the Grandmaster’s already sent it off to The Collector.”

“You’re gonna have to find a way to make it up to her then.” Thor stood up. “Will you be okay sleeping outside?”

“Oh yes, I spotted a nice rusty bathtub earlier. I may actually prefer it to sleeping with him.”

“Okay TMI. Do not put that image in my head. I’m leaving now.”

Loki smirked to himself as Thor stumbled down the junk pile and away home.

 

*

It was night when Thor arrived back at the flat. He called out to Valkyrie but received no response - must’ve gone to sleep already. He went through to the living room, and was met with the Hulk’s shadowy slouched figure taking up the entire sofa. Thor had never seen the Hulk so quiet and still before. He approached him cautiously.

“Hey bud, you awake?”

The Hulk gave a grunt. Thor shuffled closer and squeezed himself onto the sofa, but the Hulk continued to stare ahead into space.

“What’s up with you?”

 **“Hulk far, far away.”** He muttered sadly. **“Hulk miss home.”**

Thor smiled sympathetically. “I know. Me too.” He noticed that the Hulk’s eyes were beginning to droop out of tiredness, making him look even sadder. Thor almost wished the Hulk was rampaging around the flat and smashing things instead. It just felt wrong to see him like this.

“Come on,” Thor said gently as he stood up, “Get some rest and we’ll sort it all out in the morning.”

He picked up the blanket off the floor and draped it over the huge green body. The Hulk shuffled into a more comfortable position and closed his eyes. Thor watched him fondly for a moment, before turning away. Suddenly, before he knew what hit him, he was grabbed by a giant hand and yanked into the Hulk’s arms.

“What-“

Thor tried to wriggle out of his grip, but to no avail - he was already snoring. _Well,_ Thor thought to himself hopelessly, _what now?_ He must’ve been laying there for a good few minutes before he noticed something strange starting to happen. The Hulk began to twitch slightly, and the green was beginning to fade from his face and down his neck. Thor was still practically in a headlock, so he had no choice but to lay still as the Hulk transformed beneath him. He shifted his weight so as not to crush Bruce’s much smaller body, but Bruce made no attempt to untangle himself from Thor. Was he still asleep, even after that?

Thor tried tapping him lightly, and whispered, “Bruce? Hey Bruce, wake up.”

“Stay,” Bruce breathed.

He froze. With that single word, his muscles seized up, breath hitched, and stomach turned. His mind ran wild. Did he hear that right? Bruce ever so slightly pressed himself closer into Thor's chest.

"Please?"

That was all he needed. And so he stayed.

 

*

Valkyrie awoke in the same rotten mood she had fallen asleep in. She was still furious at Loki, the Hulk was still the Hulk, her bass guitar was unrepairable, and it felt like their plan was falling apart. How could they have been so stupid to rely on winning this contest - they should’ve spent their time looking for other solutions, not practising rock songs. The results from the quarterfinals would be broadcasted today, but she questioned if it would even matter. Even if they were one of the ten acts that proceeded to the semifinals, what were the chances that they’d actually win? They hadn’t practised as a full group for ages due to Loki’s fuck-up, and she was not about to swallow her pride and forgive him for the sake of this competition.

She dragged herself out of bed and lumbered into the kitchen to make herself breakfast. While buttering her toast, she looked over to the lump on the sofa, expecting it to be a lot bigger than what it was. She rubbed her bleary eyes and looked again. Bruce was back. It seemed like he had de-hulked overnight, which she did not expect as it took two months for the Hulk to go away after their battle with Hela - almost they entire journey back to Sakaar. But as she looked closer, she realised that the lump was actually too big to be just Bruce. As if to answer her question, the lump began to move, and Thor slowly slipped right out from under the blanket and landed on the floor with a thud.

Thor woke up with a jolt and scrambled to his feet. “Oh, hey Val! What’s happening. O-oh look, Banner’s back!”

“Yeah...” Valkyrie looked at him sideways. “So do you wanna, uh...” She gestured to the sofa where bruce was now stirring. “Explain yourself?”

“Ah right, um,” Thor looked very flustered. “So, the Hulk was cold.”

“The Hulk was cold.” Valkyrie repeated, utterly unconvinced.

“Yes, he was very cold. And he wanted some extra body heat.”

“And Tiny Avenger could provide sufficient body heat for the actual Incredible Hulk?”

“Yes...”

Bruce slowly propped himself up. “Why are you guys being so loud for?”

“Were you not aware that the God of Thunder was in your bed?” asked Valkyrie.

“What? Thor, why were you in my bed?” Said Bruce, with just a hint of a cheeky smile.

Thor shot him an incredulous look of betrayal. “The Hulk made me, OKAY!? He pulled me in, I didn’t get a say in it!”

“Suuure,” Valkyrie droned.

“Yeah, suuure,” Bruce echoed.

“WH- Why are you siding with her!?” Thor practically squeaked, “Why are you denying it you literally ARE the Hulk, you would know!”

“Um, how dare you? We are separate beings,” Bruce retorted playfully. Thor shook his head in exasperation and stormed away into his own room to get changed. Bruce watched him go, laughing to himself a little. Then to Thor’s relief, there came a knock at the door.

“Wait,” said Valkyrie sharply, “that better not be who I think it is.”

“Just hear him out, okay?” said Thor, dashing down the stairs before Val could say otherwise. He returned moments later with Loki, who was clutching a beautiful blue and gold bass. Vallkyrie’s angry glare faltered when she saw it.

“This is for you,” Loki held out the bass to a stunned Valkyrie. “By way of an apology.”

She took it from him and examined it in wonder. “How the hell did you even find something like this?”

“With tremendous difficulty. Turns out Midgardian basses aren’t very common on this planet. But the gold was my own touch, of course.” Valkyrie looked up from her gift and met Loki’s sincere eyes. “I know it’s not the Dragonfang, and I really am sorry about that. But I don’t want us to fight anymore.” Loki awkwardly looked away - he was never very good at apologies.

Valkyrie’s expression softened into a slightly cocky smile. “Wise choice. You knew I could kill you, so you’re backing out before it’s too late,” she joked, half serious.

Loki opened his mouth to retaliate but Thor cut in quickly, “Yes that’s _exactly_ what he’s doing, isn’t it, Loki?”

“Yes,” Loki huffed through gritted teeth, “That is exactly what I’m doing.”

Valkyrie looked back down at the bass again. It was in much better condition than her old one, and looked amazing too. “Must’ve been expensive. Did you steal it?”

“Oh come on now, why would I of all people do something like that?” Loki replied, smirking at himself. “No, I bought it with my own money, fair and square.” Now would be a terrible time to tell her that he snuck into the storage room overnight, stole some of the more fancy chandeliers and sold them off to pay for the bass.

“Alright, if you say so…” Valkyrie carefully placed the bass down on the sofa. “Apology accepted. But you’re on thin fucking ice, you hear me?”

“I hear you,” said Loki with a gentle smile.

Thor violently expelled a sigh of relief. “Thank the GODS. I am SO glad that worked.”

“Relax, you big idiot,” said Valkyrie rolling her eyes.

“I hate to interrupt this beautiful moment,” Bruce piped up from the other sofa, “But they should be broadcasting the results around about now.”

“Oh shit yeah,” Valkyrie hurried over to the TV and switched it on. Sure enough, the Grandmaster’s voice had just begun announcing the names of the ten successful acts. They held their breath as he neared the end of the list.

 

_“And finally, The Revengers! And their, uh… weird, sad duet thingy… no one really knows why they did that but, uh… I guess you guys liked it ‘cuz they’re through.”_

 

“YES!!!” They all cheered, running in for a group hug - Loki being dragged over by Thor, of course. Valkyrie’s doubts vanished. They were all together again, and they were _through_. Ten acts remaining. They had a shot at this.

Bruce broke away from the hug, radiating excitement. “Guys! You know what we need now?”

“Celebratory booze?” Said Valkyrie, eagerly.

“Yes- but no, something else. Something that’ll make us stand out from the competition.”

“What would that be?”

An ear-to-ear grin broke out across his face. “Makeovers.”


End file.
